Oasis: The Post Mortem

Late on Saturday evening a notice was placed on the official oasis.net website:

Applications are now open for the position of 'UK's Most Irrelevant Band'. Those applying must:

1. Not have produced a decent album for a minimum of ten years
   
2. Be heavily indebted, bordering on parody, to at least one of The Beatles / The Stone Roses / T-Rex (delete as applicable)
3. Hold the ability to produce statements as clichéd as the below: "Radiohead and Coldplay think too much. They get to a certain level and start worrying about the environment. That's for the governments of the world to worry about. We need to concentrate on fucking women, taking drugs, wearing sunglasses and being cool. Never mind the polar bears."
4. Av it!
5. Do worse or equivalent to the below:

As the rumours fly round on the reasons for the dissolution of Manchester's most prevalent four piece - Latest: Liam turns up to Paris gig drunk, insults Noel's kids and throws his acoustic guitar him, Noel stamps on it and quits - the most surprising dimension to this story has been the lack of outrage that has met it. When a similar occurrence took place in Barcelona in 2000, the idea of a day of public morning was still feasible. Three more underwhelming records down the line and no-one seems to give half a toss.

On the contrary, there seems to be a much prevalent sense of relief that Noel can finally get on with that long promised solo record. Given the warmth of reaction to his last solo tour, that slim hope of a long undelivered return to form may come to burn a little more brightly over the coming months.