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NOW

Seriously?

The last seven days have played host to a slow drip of music news but at least Weezer have given the world an appropriate image to cap off the week. By 'appropriate', I mean an album cover that operates in a constant state of flux between God awful or Hail Mary genius. Raditude is due October 26 from Geffen, maybe by that date I'll have settled on one of the above options.

Twitter Controversy Of The Day

Deputy News Editor at Heat Layar Atkinson posts the following:

• Preston - in at, er, number 128. MASSIVE SADFACE.about 10 hours ago from web

Preston replies with the following:

• Why am I such a massive failure?

Your record label may have deleted the above Samuel but don't worry I'll take this one.

1. In terms of trendy viruses to catch you are SARS, La Roux is Swine Flu
2. You've conducted all your PR in an embarassingly apologetic manner
3. Dressed To Kill was sounexpectedly good I think the world is still coming to terms with it.

On the brightside you should be number one by May 2011...

What the Speech Debelle!

You've got to hand it to the Mercurys, for what they lack in consistency they make up in shock factor. Though by the time the night came round Speech Debelle was the bookies third favourite, only a handful of (one suspects now smug) pundits had given the south London rapper half a shot in hell.

Was it the correct choice? In light of a flat shortlist lacking a true standout nomination, it wasn't a disappointing one. The Kasabian, Horrors, La Roux and Florence records were all different enough to justify their inclusion but too weak to righteously claim the award. Friendly Fires, Bat For Lashes and Glasvegas each made a compelling case but none were in desperate need of a leg up into the public's consciousness.

Speech Therapy was a unique album made by an artist who ticked all the right boxes. It certainly wasn't the best LP produced by a British artist in the last twelve months but then again when has the Mercury Prize ever just been about fulfilling such a basic mandate. Next year's chosen few should already prove a more competitive bunch with The Big Pink, Arctic Monkeys, XX and Noah and the Whale having already thrown their hats into the ring at this early stage.

Pick Your Favourite: Gigorama / Concertathon / Tourettes Syndrome

Typically with tour announcements your first instinct is your best. If you originally reacted to the news of a new Gossip gig with the thought, "Twenty quid to hear Standing In the Way Of Control? No thanks!" Chances are that opinion isn't going to change anytime soon. If your faith wavers however, you can always refer to the trusty guide below.

The Horrors ( 3-20 December): Possible Mercury winners come this evening. Should sound better indoors than through the meat shredder of a Festival Republic PA system.

Doves (December 18th - Manchester Central): I saw Doves live at the Poole Lighthouse once. The best bit was when then went off for the encore and rolled a VT which showed them pop in taxi off down the pub. A mosh pit to Black And White Town consisting entirely of balding middle aged men was also fun.

The Gossip (28-30 November): Refer to the intro...

Marilyn Manson (9-17 December): Was once known as the 'God of Fuck', a phrase that can now inevitably be twisted into the casual dismissal "Gawd I wish he'd fuck off".

Florence And The Machine (6-13 December): An enigmatic performer with a sketchy debut to work with but could choose worse.

Seasick Steve (2-17 September): Not a draw that's likely to add anything new to his Sothern Hobo schtick if you've heard it before. Still if you haven't, there are few more cheery ways to while away an evening.

Arctic Monkeys (13-26 November): A pickle. On the one hand Alex Turner has all the personality of a cardboard cut-out of Lezo from Newsround. On the other, his band have more than their fair share of tunes to compensate.

5 Reasons To Be Cheerful

Another day, another legacy ritually dephiled, this time in the centre of attention stand John 'Country Life Butter' Lydon's post-punk pioneers Public Image Ltd minus classic members Keith Levene and Jah Wobble on guitar and bass. Nothing much to add to this one bar the further shame it places on Lydon over this perhaps forgotten incident. Instead I've composed a list of reasons to remain blissfully cheerful this Monday evening in spite of any evidence to the contrary.

1. Ignore The Ignorant is out today

3 Jarmen + 1 Marr-man = 1 great record regardless of basic numeracy

2. Mercury Music Prize announced on Tuesday

Never predictable, always a sure-fire source of pub banter.

3. Songs That Remind Me Of You - Annie

An artist endorsed by both Pitchfork and Popjustice?!? Somewhere in a parallel universe, The Twang are still terrible.


4. The Spotify app got approved for the iPhone

Pay £10 a month for an unlimited library of portable music plus none of those pesky adverts. Bargain no?

5. The UK can once again watch music videos on Youtube

An undisclosed lump sum payment backdated to January 2009 and lasting until 2012 means that 60000 hard working artists get a well deserved payday.

The Beatles For Sale

As is only customary in the run up to the release of literally any 'new' Beatles material the media world has once again kicked itself into a frenzy. That the releases in question are simply remasters of previously available LPs does somewhat beggar belief at the level of hysteria surrounding them. "Sure I Wanna Hold Your Hand is great song but I wish those claps were available in Dolby Surround Sound" is a thought that has rarely crossed my mind.

Never a corporation to miss out on a line-up of lifeless Saturday night programming however, the Beeb coordinated a somewhat less than holy trilogy of Timewatch: Beatlemania, The Beatles on Record and The Beatles: The First US Visit in anticipation. Timewatch was the rough diamond in the crown, a decent documentary on their early rise up to their departure from touring that suffered from a lack of heavyweight collaborators.

On Record and The First US Visit let the side down drastically though due the typical Apple Corps reverence of any artefact to emerge from The Beatles cannon. Cue as equal significance handed to Yellow Submarine as Revolver and endless shots of Ringo smoking in favour of a simple narrative. It's unlikely that the same liberal handedness would be given by BBC execs to any other band which is a shame considering they've previously upheld a high standard of musical programming from the Seven Ages of Rock to Blondie: One Way or Another.